Monday, May 2, 2011

Song of Solomon, Chapter 3: All night long

Our heroine wakes up at night and reaches for her lover but doesn't find him. So she goes out onto the city streets looking for him, which is never a good idea. The sentries haven't seen him, but shortly afterwards she finds him and brings him back to fulfill many a person's dirty sex fantasy of doing in their parents' bed. Yes seriously into the chamber of her that conceived me (v. 4)

She asks her acolytes once again to let her lover sleep, and again while she's talking he comes out of the forest in a cloud of perfume. And he has... a bed? I don't know. With 70 men surrounding it, every man hath his sword upon his thigh (v. 8), which I like to think of as yet another extremely kinky sex fantasy because it's more fun that way and this book is drastically short of fun. We have Isaiah coming up, which is 66 chapters of hectoring misogyny.

Anyway, Solomon also has a chariot made of cedar which is decorated in his typical over-the-top style of a 12 year old girl: silver posts, gold bottom, purple cushions, decorated by the daughters of Jerusalem, who seem to have appallingly bad taste. He invites the girls to come and see him in his crown, which his mother gave him on his wedding day. The happiest day of his life. So happy that he did it 999 more times. Like a drug addict or something.

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