Saturday, June 25, 2011

Isaiah, Chapters 60 & 61: Would you want a king building your wall?

Chapter 60

God, in one of his manic phases, informs Jerusalem that rather than destroy the city, he's now going to reward it, mostly by turning the lights down in other places so that people will flock to it in hopes of finishing their books. Immigrants will return home with remittances and foreign kings will be enslaved as everyday bricklayers. Personally, I would not want a wall built by a former king, thank you very much. Those nations which refuse service will be destroyed.

God will then make himself so radiant that we won't need the sun or moon anymore, and then he will end sun- and moonsets. Like that form of torture where you're placed in a windowless room and they never turn the lights off! Fun! And of course everybody will be righteous and they'll have lots and lots of babies. So not so fun for the women, as cults so seldom are.

Chapter 61

God still hasn't swung back to depression, so now Isaiah informs us that he's here on earth as a saviour to the poor, brokenhearted or enslaved. Apparently Jesus will later use the first two verses in a speech and will not be accused of plagiarism. There will be goodies: the anointing oil of happiness for the widows, as well as new clothes, infrastructure repair, slaves to do the heavy farm labour, while the Israelites will get to do the easy stuff like being priests and getting rich from plundering their neighbours and stealing their lands.

No comments:

Post a Comment