Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Isaiah, Chapters 64-66: Going out with a massacre

Chapter 64

The Israelites beg god to show his face and apologise for all those times they ignored his good deeds and sinned and promise to never, ever do it again. Do you believe them? I don't.

Chapter 65

God replies that I am sought of them that asked not for me; I am found of them that sought me not: I said, Behold me, behold me, unto a nation that was not called by my name (v. 1). That just seems dumb. He complains about how his people don't respect him and insist on barbecuing pork in the garden. Nonetheless, he has decided not to destroy ALL of them, just the worshippers of other gods.

And what lurid tortures does he have planned for the apostates? Starvation, death from thirst, humiliation, depression, anxiety, names forgotten. Then he'll destroy the earth and create a new one with a shiny new Jerusalem. No one will die before the age of 100 unless they sin, which is a handy way to explain the lack of centenarians back then, and they'll all build houses and eat dinner with lambs and lions, and the lions and snakes will eat straw and dirt.

Chapter 66

God thinks of earth as his footstool, just so y'know. Then he starts cursing the sinners. Again there's a childbirth metaphor about cities and whether god would ever fail to give birth to one. Then Jerusalem is compared favourably to breastfeeding. This is just getting weird, because apparently god thinks breastfeeding is as comforting as seeing your enemies killed by flaming swords. And who are your enemies? The backyard barbecuers of pork flesh. This will cause people from other nations, even distant islands, to become Jews then flock to Jerusalem for some disaster tourism, namely gawking at the still-flaming bodies of the pig eaters.

Well, that was fun. Jeremiah is up next, all 52 chapters of him.

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