Chapter 56
Sabbath keepers rule. Suddenly, second-generation Jewish converts are totally kosher. Note it says nothing about converts themselves. Eunuchs should not complain about their shortcomings, because if they keep sabbath, they'll get a memorial plaque in the temple and an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off (v. 5) Ooh, that's a low blow. Please please please tell me that was on purpose.
Chapter 57
Apparently the bible's reason for why bad things happen to good people is that god is protecting them from future evil. One starts to see why Republicans love this book so much, with their fear of the future and nostalgia for a past that never existed.
Then the insults against the Molechites start. You remember them, right? Way back in Numbers, or was it Joshua? Somewhere back at the beginning of the bible, when reading it and creating a blog seemed like a lark, they were the child-sacrificing squatters the Israelites had to evict. Well, it must not have gone very well because here we are listening to him rant on about how their gods are only smooth stones in river valleys and how stupid it is to build altars in the mountains, as if Joshua didn't do that. They also cover themselves in ointments and have sex with the king à la Esther and at this point it starts to seem more like 'do as I say, not as my people do.'
Anyway, they seem to have betrayed god and now he's fixing to punish them. He tried to fix them, but it didn't work, so smiting is in order.
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