Isaiah, Chapters 44 & 45

Chapter 44

God reminds the Israelites yet again that he created the world so they should be grateful. It's like when your mother tells you, 'I brought you into this world and this is the thanks I get?'

Then he assures us he's the only god. People who carve statues to other gods are time-wasting idiots. Then he explains how idols are made, and it's very clear he hasn't been observing the process very carefully: the smith works his fingers to the bone, the carpenter lays out his design, the woodchopper cuts down a tree then plants it, the customer buys the wood, burns some of it, and carves the rest into his idol. He never stops to question why he's worshipping a block of wood. I have to say, it seems every bit as plausible as worshipping a book written between 5000 and 2000 years ago by sand people.

Then he whines more about how he's so awesome and still nobody wants to sit with him in the cafeteria. Except Cyrus, who is suddenly awesome.

Chapter 45

God suddenly loves Cyrus, the Persian king, and tells him how he's going to pick a lot of fights so he can win them. Then he admits I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. (v. 7) Try reading THAT particular verse to a Christian the next time he insists god is all good.

Then he makes some threats against people who don't worship him, so they'll worship him.