Monday, January 31, 2011

Psalms 31-35

Psalm 31

God is a rock, god is an island. Oh, wait, that's Simon and Garfunkel. God is just a rock. David hates pretty much everybody, but loves god. Is this where the expression, 'So heaven-bound he's of no earthly good' comes from? Anyway, David talks about his wilderness years and thanks god for bringing him back and making him king and stuff. He also asks god to keep dead people dead, which I totally agree with, and to stop liars lying.

Psalm 32

David waxes on about the catharsis of confessing your sins, which should be familiar to viewers of daytime talk shows. He exhorts us to pray to Oprah god, though he doesn't outline any of his own transgressions.

Psalm 33

Praying makes you hot. It should also be done exuberantly. Of course, at the same time, we have to fear god.

God, we are told, looks down from heaven on us and all the king's horses and all the king's men can't save him if he's a bad king. If you're good, though, god keeps you alive and doesn't let you starve, which really seems the minimum required of a deity.

Psalm 34

David vows to devote all his time to praising god. Also, fearing god means you get your needs met and you won't go hungry. I love the prosperity doctrine! If you're poor and hungry, it's because you didn't love god enough! If you're a fat cat, it's because you're so righteous! So we don't need welfare, we need prayer! Rock on!

Next, he exhorts us to do good and not tell lies and seek peace and all that good stuff that he couldn't actually bring himself to do. God doesn't do bad shit to righteous people like breaking their arms . Yes but it's the shifting definition of 'righteous' that's so troublesome.

Psalm 35

Smitey smite smite. David asks god to send his avenging angels against his enemies and to kill them unawares and hoist them by their own petards. This will make him happy. He then turns around and says that when his enemies were sick he prayed and fasted for them. Of course he's not actually the bigger person because he spends the rest of the prayer asking god to humiliate them.

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