It turns out David's heart's desire was to wear a gold crown. Somehow, I doubt that's going to put those rumours about Jonathan to rest. It's all thanks to god, who will roast his enemies alive in an oven, kill their children and shoot the survivors in the back with arrows. Doesn't it just warm the cockles of your heart?
David is feeling ignored again and his enemies are making fun of him for his faith. In this case, his enemies are bulls, unicorns, dogs and lions. His bones are out of joint and his heart feels like melted wax, he's weak and has a dry tongue. He's like a middle-aged woman. In a foreshadowing of Jesus (I didn't know this, David Plotz told me), the enemies rip David's clothes off and draw lots for them. He promises that if god helps him, he'll worship him in return, a reversal of the entire rest of the book, but it's David, so I guess it's okay.
I perk up a bit here, because this is the Sonnet 18 of the Psalms, the LORD is my shepherd / He maketh me to lie down in green pastures (v. 1-2), yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall not want (v. 4), my cup runneth over (v. 5) Psalm that you've heard at every funeral you've ever been to.
David is back onto zoning questions, again wondering who will get into heaven. Again, it's the people with clean hands who are pure of heart, the humble and the honest.
David asks god to lead him down the path to salvation, to be kind and to forget his past sins. Does he know who he's dealing with here?