Saturday, October 22, 2011

Zechariah, Chapters 4-7: Biblical bongs

Chapter 4

Zechariah is awakened by the angel, who asks him what he sees. A candlestick with a bowl and seven lamps thereon, and seven pipes to the seven lamps, which are upon the top thereof (v. 2). In other words, a 7-man bong. That explains a lot. This bong is sitting under some olive trees in case of munchies.

Then they have this nonsensical stoner conversation about meaning and symbology and a mountain that's going to turn into a valley, but not before the summit starts shrieking Grace, grace unto it. (v. 7)

Chapter 5

Whatever Zechariah has been smoking really kicks in as he turns and sees giant flying scrolls that sail over to the houses of thieves and liars and set them on fire. Then there's a basket full of sins. When the leaden lid is lifted off, there's a woman inside. The angel calls her wickedness personified, then shuts the lid again. Two women with stork-wings appear and carry the basket of to Shinar.

Chapter 6

Zech has another trippy vision, this time about chariots pulled by multi-coloured horses that appear between mountains of brass. The chariots ride around as god's representatives on earth. Their task today is to make a crown for Joshua. When they place the crown on his head, they're supposed to say Behold the man whose name is The BRANCH; and he shall grow up out of his place, and he shall build the temple of the LORD (v. 12).

Chapter 7

Zech is coming down from his high, and now has some deep and probing questions for god. First Should I weep in the fifth month, separating myself, as I have done these so many years? (v. 3) God scoffs that the Israelites have been playing at weeping and mourning for 70 years and they should show compassion and mercy if they're sincere.


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