Chapter 1
God is off his meds and is unleashing his frustration in the form of volcanoes, drought, earthquakes and tropical storms. Who is he so pissed at? Nineveh, the city that happily converted to Judaism at the end of Jonah. What did they do? Who knows? God isn't in an explaining mood.
Chapter 2
More threats, this time with promises of larceny. God invites the Israelites to plunder Nineveh after he's finished destroying it. Then lions will move in, but god will kill the young ones.
Chapter 3
Nineveh is a whoring, witchy, whore, so god is going to lift up its skirts and let the breeze circulate, then throw shit on it, then put it in the stocks. Then he's going to enslave the people, smash babeis' heads in, and turn them all into drunkards. Still no reasoning as to why.
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