Thursday, August 4, 2011

Ezekiel, Chapters 20-22

Chapter 20

It would seem that whatever hallucinogenic drugs were causing Zeke to imagine see space aliens that told him to chop up his hair with a knife, burn his clothes and dig a hole in the wall rather than leave by the gate have worn off for good and now he's just a run of the mill 'We're all gonna die!' type boring-ass prophet with an over-long book.

This particular chapter is a long list of petty grievances dating back to Exodus that god simply CANNOT let go of. He tells us he considered killing all the Israelites several times, but never did. This time, though, he REALLY means it, he's going to set fire to them!

Chapter 21

First, god is going to stabby stab stab us all with a sword. Then he's going to burn us. Just like all the other times.

Chapter 22

Among the sins that god is going to stab and burn the Israelites for: dishonouring their parents, mountain picnics, lewdness (v. 9), sex with menstruating women, adultery with the neighbour's wife, a daughter in law, and a sister, usury. Punishment: melting!.

No comments:

Post a Comment