Monday, August 29, 2011

Ezekiel, Chapter 37: God's zombie army

Yes! Another PCP episode! This time, god takes Zeke out to a field of dry bones and asks him if he knows 'Dem Dry Bones,' which I always thought was a blues song, but it turns out is the 'Toe bone's connected to the foot bone' song. Zeke does not, so god teaches it to him in the creepiest possible way, animating the skeletons, then covering them with flesh, not because he's trying to steal the Golden Fleece but to prove that he's really serious about restoring the Israelites to their birthright. As zombies! No, seriously, he really says Behold, O my people, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel / And ye shall know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves,
/ And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the LORD have spoken it, and performed it, saith the LORD. (v. 12-14)

For his next trick, god tells Zeke to pick up two sticks. Then he fuses them, because the reanimated skeletons weren't impressive enough, and says they're the tribes of Israel. These fused sticks will somehow cause them to also stop sinning. Also, David will be king. Maybe he means the house of David, as Evangelicals claim, meaning Jesus, but it pretty clearly says dear old Dave himself.


  1. You deny the very one that gave you the breath to speak and hands to write these foolish blabberings. Jesus loves you and died for you and you will soon see the mistake you made in blaspheming the one who gave you life. I pray mercy and grace for your soul my friend! Truth is: Jesus is Lord!

  2. Looks like someone has focused too much of his New Testament reading time on Paul's message and not enough on Jesus'.