Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Proverbs, Chapters 4 & 5: Geez, if even Solomon's calling you slutty...

Chapter 4

Solomon informs us that only his mother loved him, which may explain the 1000+ sex partners. He then waxes on some more about how important wisdom and instruction are, and that wickedness is to be avoided. Apparently wicked people can only sleep after they've done evil.

At the end of the chapter, he tells us to speak plainly and honestly, to look neither left nor right, and to keep our eyes on our own paths. Makes one wonder how he ever saw so many women or came to build a bigger house than god's, complete with its own elevated gold bathtub, if he's so humble and modest.

Chapter 5

Back to Solomon's second favourite theme: the treachery of women, especially foreign ones. If you go into their houses, they'll take all your money and you'll die, alone and broke. Also god doesn't like it. So what you should do is love your first wife forever, which I would be all in favour of if the author DIDN'T HAVE 700 WIVES.

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