Proverbs, Chapter 20: Is that god poking around in your abdomen, or are you just happy to see me?

Wine and beer are the enemies of wisdom. Well, to sober people, at least. Drunk people think they're brilliant. Moral: if there's drinking involved, make sure you join in.

Making the king angry is a sin. Hmm... that's a mighty convenient way to keep one's flock in line. Lazy people don't like to plow when it's cold. So ignoring all that lovely stuff in earlier books about allowing them to glean the fields after the harvest, now we're supposed to let them beg. God, this whole book is written like a Republican manifesto against the poor. Next thing you know, it'll be whining about the need for cutting corporate taxes.

All kings have to do to decide if a person is good or bad is look at them, which, again, is awfully handy when your constituents get stroppy. Lying is only fun at the time, afterwards your mouth shall be filled with gravel. (v. 17) Since god is in charge of our fates, we have no hope of understanding things. Only if you go to Liberty U.

Wise kings crush the wicked. This is also a good book for crazy dictators. The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly (v. 27) Also, The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly. (v. 30) In plain English, if you beat the evil hard enough, it will go away. I'm guessing this was written before that New Yorker article about solitary confinement came out.