Thursday, March 10, 2011

Proverbs, Chapter 6

If you've put up some collateral for a friend's loan, or for a stranger's, because you're young and stupid, you need to go and ask him to get you out of the deal. No, don't go to sleep, you lazy grasshopper! Take the ant as your model. See, the ant has no boss, but it still raises its food in the summer and harvests in the autumn and... I think our wise Solomon might be trying to stretch this metaphor a bit too far.

But anyway, whatever teenage son Solomon is directing this to doesn't want to get out of bed, not even after his father threatens him with poverty.

Now, Solomon's description of the wicked: they lie, and signal their lies with their shifty eyes and fidgety feet and hands. Their lies come from the heart and they seek to sow discord. As a result, his downfall will be swift. Nope, that doesn't follow logically. Again, this is so-called wisest man in the history of the world.

The six things god hates: pride, lying, killing the innocent, scheming, running with scissors to do wrong (walking is okay), lying in court, sowing discord amongst your family members. Never mind that that's seven and 3 of them are variations on the word liar, at least he isn't trying to cut a baby in half.

Remember your parents' advice. Avoid evil and lying foreign women, don't be taken in by their beauty, don't spend all your money on prostitutes and committing adultery is playing with fire. I wonder how many of his 1000+ sex partners fit one or all of these descriptions.

It's okay to steal the things you need for survival, as long as you aren't a character in a Victor Hugo novel. Instead, you should reward him sevenfold. No, the one who really deserves punishment is the adulterer, who should be injured and dishonoured by the husband, who will go crazy with jealousy and refuse to be paid off.

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