Monday, March 24, 2014

Tobit, Chapter 3: Psst! Your slaves hate you

Tobit starts crying and praying to god for forgiveness and asking to be killed.

At the same time, a woman named Sara is reproaches by one of her father's slave girls. The slave retorts that Sara has had seven husbands, each of whom has been killed by a devil named Asmodeus right after having sex with her, but apparently people say Sara strangled them. Then she says she hopes Sara dies and never has kids. Rather than just saying

Sara runs upstairs to sulk. But seriously, how un-self-aware do you have to be to think your SLAVES don't talk smack about you behind your back? She contemplates killing herself but ultimately decides against it, as she's her father's only daughter. So she prays to god to kill her. She claims that despite her seven husbands, she's pure from all sin with man (v. 14) which earns her an eyeroll from Frank Underwood:

And begs that if she must live, could god at least stop people from saying nasty things about her. God sends the angel Raphael down to kill three birds with one stone: first, he removes the scales from Tobit's eyes, then he gives Sara to Tobit, because she belonged to Tobias by right of inheritance (v. 17) thus earning them one last GIF from Marty McFly:

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