Monday, March 3, 2014

2 Esdras, Chapter 13: Fire Jesus

After 7 more days of no protein, Esdras starts hallucinating again. A wind comes off the sea, and he sees a man whose gaze causes earthquakes and whose voice burns people alive. An army comes to attack the guy, and he creates a mountain, then flies to the top of it. Esdras doesn't know where the mountain is, because he's too stoned. The army fights even though the men are afraid. Rightly so, since the dude on the mountain breathes fire and hurricanes, which he turns on the army, reducing them to dust.

The man comes down the mountain and calls out to another, more peaceable group. Some are happy, but others not so much. At this point, Esdras wakes up in fear and asks the angel what the hell just happened. He starts answering his own question, that the dream was about the end of days. He feels sorry for the people left on earth.

The angel agrees but clarifies that the people on earth are lucky, because the dude in the sea is some version of Jesus, and he'll give order to the chaos of the apocalypse, first by burning the sinners, then by rewarding the righteous. At first, there will be a lot of fighting, and the bad guys will want to fight Jesus as well, hence the mountain, which is Zion. From there, he'll punish the sinners with fire.

The good guys in the dream were 10 tribes who were first enslaved by a king Osea, then by Salmansar of Assyria, who took them overseas. The tribesmen agreed to escape and find a new, uninhabited country, where they put up their statues, which were forbidden in the other places they lived. So they go down the Euphrates and at some point god stops the water so they can cross. They travel for a year and a half until they get to someplace called Asareth, where they've lived up until now.

But now they're coming back to Israel, and god will again stop the rivers so they can cross. He will also burn their enemies. Esdras wants to know why Jesus came out of the sea. The angel replies that scuba gear hasn't been invented yet, so people can't see what's in the ocean. Somehow this also means we can't see Jesus except in daylight. The angel praises Esdras for devoting his life to the law and tells him to wait another 3 days in the field.

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