Saturday, March 15, 2014

2 Esdras, Chapter 15, Widowhood is a sign of the apocalypse

The angel tells Esdras to go and heckle people and don't worry if they ignore him like they did all the other prophets, because the sinners are going to hell, after god does a bunch of nasty shit to the world. He promises to bring his people back from Egypt, even though we're supposed to be just getting back from Babylon.

Anyway, there will be sedition and people will no longer follow the secular leaders, i.e. the kings and princes. People will want to go to cities, but will be mysteriously unable to. The cities themselves will become Detroit-style hellholes, and god will foment rebellion between them and between kingdoms.

God already knows who the sinners are, which begs the question as to why he isn't acting. For now it's plagues and visions of Arabian dragons and Carmanian wild boars attacking Assyria. It's not clear why this is supposed to intimidate the Israelites, but okay. Oh, eventually the Arabian dragons that conquer Arabia will also attack Israel. For now, there are thunder clouds and a layer of shit as high as a camel's shin, which is what you get when there isn't a Sulabh around.

Other ways to tell the end times are near: wind, clouds, stars, fire, hail, flying swords, rain, destruction of everything, and the invasion of Babylon. Note that only some of those are notable. Eventually the Babylonians will be enslaved, and so will the rest of Asia because... hast decked thy daughters in whoredom, that they might please and glory in thy loves, which have always desired to commit whoredom with thee! (v. 47) Other signs: plagues, widowhood, poverty, famine, sword, pestilence, to waste thy houses with destruction and death (v. 49) and thy children shall die of hunger, and thou shalt fall through the sword: thy cities shall be broken down, and all thine shall perish with the sword in the field. They that be int he mountains shall die of hunger, and eat their own flesh, and drink their own blood, for very hunger of bread and thirst of water. (v. 57-58). Also, their children will be enslaved and all the hot people will get scars.

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