Luke, Chapter 6: Remember the sabbath, and keep it holy

Jesus and the disciples are in a cornfield, rudely stealing corn. On the Sabbath, no less. The Pharisees point out that this is work and people have been stoned to death for working on the Sabbath. No really, go look in Numbers 15. Jesus says that David stole bread from the priests and he's god so he can do whatever the hell he wants, even if it is the Sabbath.

Another Sabbath day, Jesus is preaching in the temple when a man with a withered hand approaches him to ask for healing. The Pharisees lean in close to see whether he'll break the Sabbath again. Jesus says to them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it? (v. 9) Which is the stupid thing about sabbath days: even in freaking Saudi Arabia, where you have morality police that force shopkeepers to shut down five times a day for prayers, the police are working. Anyway, Jesus heals the man and the Pharisees go nuts.

Jesus gets bored of the city and heads out to the mountains, where he commences the very important business of deciding which animals are more equal. Then they go out to a plain, or a mountain, whichever you prefer, to give a sermon. And you just know that somewhere in the back, the Pythons are arguing about whether he said cheese-makers or meek, and who has a bigger nose.