Jesus goes off into the desert to fast and be tempted by the devil for 40 days. We get a repeat of the 3 tricks from Matthew, but not Mark: Satan challenges him to turn a stone into bread, then takes him up a mountain and offers him everything he sees, then sets him on the temple roof and dares him to jump off. Jesus refuses to do any of them.
After 40 days and a quick stop at an all-you-can-eat buffet, Jesus goes back to the Galilee to preach in the synagogues. One day, he stands up to read a particularly juicy passage from Isaiah about ministering to the poor and free the Jewish exiles in Babylon. Everybody stares at the weirdo who claims to fulfill a 'prophecy' that isn't actually a prophecy. They finally place him as Joseph's son as he keeps babbling about doing miracles and being misunderstood.
To quote Winston Churchill: A fanatic is someone who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. So the people of Nazareth decide to do the only logical thing to shut Jesus up: push him off a cliff. Alas, Jesus escapes and goes off to annoy the people of Capernaum.
He is immediately recognised by the devil possessing a man, which tells him to stop poking his nose into everyone's business. Jesus tells the devil to leave, and it does. Then he cure's Simon, or possibly Peter's wife. This causes people to line up with their sick and crazy relatives for faith healing because what the hell? Without a concept of science or medicine, the opportunity cost is low, so why not go for it? Jesus swears all the devils to secrecy.
Friday, January 27, 2012
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