Thursday, February 25, 2010

Leviticus, Chapter 17

Just so we're clear: no eating blood! God is very emphatic on that point in this chapter.

Want to kill an animal, but feeling too hungry and impatient to bring it to the tabernacle and offer it to god? Or feel like hedging your bets a little and sacrificing something to another god? Banished! This rule was to stop the Israelites making sacrifices in the open fields, where the temple couldn't control who the offering was for. God sure wants to know what you're doing at any given moment with your property, doesn't he?

Jerry, of course, thinks this is all a reference to bestiality. He thinks the Israelites were under the thrall of a particular southern Egyptian cult whose women copulated with goats. So he glosses over the deaths of 3000 people, but makes sure to point out the goat-fuckers. And I'm the heathen.

Next are the rules for kosher. Basically, you have to drain the blood. Failure to do so: banishment. If you hunt, you have to drain the blood in the field and bury it. If you eat an animal that died of natural causes or was killed by another animal, your punishment is a bath, laundry, and you're unclean until sunset.

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