Thursday, February 11, 2010

Exodus Chapter 25

This is the beginning of 7 mind-numbingly dull chapters giving detailed instructions on how to build the temple. First he tells them what offerings to bring, including gold, dyed wool, and stones for the priest's girdle, which he will wear on the outside of his clothes, because girdles then were more like bathrobe belts.

He tells them to make an ark to hold the covenant. I know, I know, Noah's ark was a boat, but now ark means 'chest big enough to hold stone tablets.' I'm getting all of this from Wikipedia, by the way, because Jerry is too busy having multiple orgasms about how every word of this chapter shows us that Jesus is on his way. Anyway, this is the ark of the covenant. On top it's to have a 'mercy seat' which, to the best of my understanding, which is to say Wikipedia, means lid. Jerry is still babbling about how it's going to cover sin until Jesus can redeem us. One-track mind much, Jerry? At either end of the mercy seat, there is to be a cherub, never mind that commandment about graven images. God even says what posture the cherubim should take. The cherubim are going to be heavenly microphones, god will talk from between them.

They have to make a table, and dishes and spoons and bowls, all to hold the showbread, or holy bread. Then he has 10 verses about candlestick holders, bowls and snuffdishes.

Oh, and all of this has to be made of gold. God is an over-the-top interior decorator. I wonder if Sartre had this section in mind when he gave the stage directions for Huis Clos? It certainly sounds garish enough.

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