Chapter 1, Verse 1 of the book of Genesis: In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. A fairly standard opening. Here is Jerry's note to that:
Creation marks the absolute beginning of the temporal and material world. The traditional Jewish and Christian belief is that Genesis 1:1 declares that God created the original heaven and earth from nothing and that verse 2 clarifies that when it came from the Creator's hand, the mass was 'without form, and void,' unformed and without any life. The rest of the chapter then explains the process of Creation in detail. There is no evidence in the Hebrew text for long ages of evolutionary development or a gap of times int he Old Testament.
... sound of crickets chirping...
Ooookay then Good thing I have Landover Baptist, who also and The Skeptic's Annotated Bible.
Without further ado, Genesis 1:
Well, Ricky Gervais does it far better than I ever could.
To me, this seems like a pretty straightforward creation myth, not that different from any other. Of course, Jerry goes nuts, pointing out that plants and fruits are created in verse 11 whereas sea life doesn't emerge until verse 20, so therefore everything Charles Darwin says is an outright lie. He also glosses over the fact that men and women are created at the same time in this particular chapter.
Jerry ignores the fact that this is a completely different creation myth. In chapter 1, the order goes: plants, animals, man (and woman). In the second, it goes: man, plants, animals, woman. He also fails to address the fact that Eve was created because Adam couldn't find a suitable help meet among the animals. No, what he mostly wants to focus on is exhorting people to form good Christian marriages, where women are equal to men at the same time as they are inferior, since Adam naming Woman is a sign of his dominion over her. Good luck, ladies!