Monday, August 18, 2014

Ecclesiasticus, Chapters 14 & 15: Stalking is wise

Chapter 14

Solomon starts off with a list of people who are blessed in his eyes. It's two verses long, because talking about people with clear consciences is boring. Then he starts in on thieves and psychopaths and jealous lovers and people who only pretend to do good and how they secretly hate people and don't sacrifice properly. Lesson: remember to make your sacrifices, because death will come faster than you think.

Always seek out wisdom, even if you have to pry open her windows or tack things to her walls or camp out in her garden with your kids like some terrifying stalker, because she'll eventually open the door.

Chapter 15

This chapter starts with a tortured metaphor about how the law is like a woman who greets you at the door like a mother but is a virgin in the bedroom. That does not sound like a fun marriage. Even more fun: her cooking consists of bread and water, which supposedly represent understanding and wisdom. Further wifely duties involve exalting the husband to everyone she meets so he gets famous. The husband, for his part, will rely on the wife to not confuse him.

The foolish and the sinful will not understand the law which goes against every law movie or TV show ever. Also, liars can't remember the law, which seems counter intuitive.

Sinners should not utter praise, because it comes from god. I'm going to take it the book is using the definition of praise that means 'expressing thanks or love for god,' in which case it sounds like god is using us to masturbate. Despite this, you shouldn't blame god if you leave the church because you no longer feel like getting god off, because that decision was yours alone.

The last part of the chapter invites us to keep the commandments and explore the fire and water we received from god, but not too far, because the lord is watching lest you sin.  

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