Titus, Chapters 1-3: World's worst advice column

Chapter 1

'Paul' (not Paul) reminds us that God, that cannot lie (v. 2) has promised to destroy the world and bring all his followers to heaven. He's writing to Titus, who is in Crete, and is having problems with his congregation. He reminds Titus that his assignment was to correct any false beliefs among the faithful and appoint new priests. He reminds us about the rules for priests: monogamous, well-behaved children, not a drunkard, hospitable, etc. 

Titus' specific problem is those lying Jews, who are lying to the congregation and must be stopped. One of them went so far as to say The Cretians are always liars, evil beasts, slow bellies (v. 12). As if the bible has always been so tolerant of foreigners. 'Paul' wants him to rebuke the liars and convince them to return to the fold.

Chapter 2

'Paul' thinks old people are sober and wise, but that young women need to be taught to be
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (v. 3) and that young men are drunkards. Slaves should likewise be obedient to their masters and shouldn't steal. Everyone should be honest and do good works.

Chapter 3

Be good, but also remember that no matter how good you are, god will pick and choose who's going to heaven and who isn't. Avoid genealogy and unrepentant heretics.

'Paul' promises to sends reinforcements and invites Titus to spend the winter with him in Nicopolis. He tells him to bring two friends and a case of beer.