A king named Nicodemus approaches Jesus and starts asking questions. How can one get into heaven? Rebirth? How? Do you have to crawl back into your mother's uterus? Because, ew. No, water and the holy spirit. Nicodemus is still skeptical and Jesus turns mocking, asking how he can explain heaven if Nick won't even believe him about earthly matters?
Then we get to Tim Tebow's favourite eye black saying, before they changed the rules so he couldn't do that anymore: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (v. 16) He insists that he's there to save the world, but then instantly starts telling us about how people who don't believe in him will rot in hell.
All talked out, he turns next to baptising, which I suppose is better than all the faith healing he was doing in the other books. Less harmful, certainly. Somewhere else, John the Baptist is also baptising people. John's followers tell him that Jesus is engaging in some copyright infringement, but John isn't bothered, insisting he never said he was the Messiah and repeating that non-believers are going straight to hell.
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nice work
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