John, Chapter 4: Fortune-telling

The Pharisees hear that Jesus is baptising more people than John, even though it's the disciples who are doing all the actual dunking. Then Jesus goes on a trip. That's seriously the transition: the Pharisees hear a rumour, then Jesus goes for a walk. Eventually he ends up perched on the ledge of a well on a farm near Sychar in Samaria that once belonged to Joseph of the technicolor dreamcoat.

The disciples go off in search of a grocery store, leaving Jesus alone at the well. As he's sitting there, a woman approaches to draw water. He rudely demands a drink from her, as if he can't dip his own damned bucket into the well if he's thirsty. She asks him why he's talking to her, since normally If you're a Jet you're a Jet. Jesus says that if she only knew who he was, she'd be the one asking him for a drink and he'd give it to her. She points out that he doesn't have a bucket and does he somehow think he's better than Jacob, the one who gave them the well? Jesus points out that drinking from this well will only make people thirsty again, but his well will lead to an eternal life where we'll never be thirsty again. She asks for some of this extra-special water. He tells her to fetch her husband. She says she has no husband. Jesus points out that she has had five husbands and then implies that she's either separated or living in sin, the commentaries are divided. Jerry, of course, is useless.

She calls him a prophet. Either that or someone who's been sitting next to the village hot spot listening to the gossip all afternoon. One of those. Anyway, she asks why he isn't in Jerusalem. Jesus tells her that soon it won't matter where anyone worships and they should all start praying to god now. She starts to recognise him as this Christ guy she's been hearing rumours about. Jesus admits it.

The disciples come back and the woman leaves, forgetting her water pot. She goes into town to tell the men to come and see the fortune-teller by the well. As she's away, the disciples urge him to eat something, but he refuses, preferring to meditate further on sowing and reaping souls.

The woman returns with a crowd, and Jesus spends the next two days on palm and tarot readings before he departs for Galilee. On the way to Cana, a man stops him and says his son is sick. Jesus tells him to go home, because his son is all better. And he is. Spooky!