Monday, July 11, 2011

Jeremiah, Chapters 22-24: He always had some mighty fine wine

Chapter 22

God tells Jeremiah to go to the palace and spend TWO verses exhorting him to do what's right (be nice to the poor) and promising his reward (horsies! And continued reign) and then TEN on the consequences of disobedience, which I think we're all familiar with by now, so there's no point listing them.

God instructs us to pay fair wages to servants. And how. Then he spends some time insulting the king's taste in McMansions, which feature a lot of vermillion and cedar, and sounds a lot better than what's currently on offer. He praises this guy's father, saying he was a just and righteous ruler, whom he promises to bury like an ass after rendering him childless and killing his whole family.

Chapter 23

God's copious anger turns itself on the false prophets. His anger is making Jeremiah twitch like a drunk man. We're told that the reason for the drought is adultery. Adulterous prophets. Anyway, don't listen to them because they're lying liars and god is going to kill them in a tornado.

Chapter 24

Apparently there are good figs, and there are very naughty figs(v. 2) and even evil, very evil figs (v. 3) and that's where this metaphor breaks down. But let's see what god has in mind, shall we?

Those of you who have not been following along on the last 1200 or so pages of this twaddle will be surprised to find out that the good figs are the good people in Israel, currently residing in Babylon, and they'll be rewarded for their faithfulness. The bad figs are the king and the people who went to Egypt, and they'll be driven out with swords and stuff.

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