Monday, May 19, 2014

Judith, Chapters 15 & 16: Judith is the Thomas Jefferson of the bible

Chapter 15

When the army hears that its leader is lying in his tent without his head, they flee. The Israelites come out and shoot them in the back. They send word to all the other cities, including a place called Cola, to similarly destroy the rest of the Assyrian forces. Then they loot the camps. They bring all the booty to Judith, and she ends up keeping Holofernes' tent and its contents. She loads them up onto a mule. The Israelite women come and dance around her and she gives them branches. She puts on a garland of olive leaves and leads the party.

Chapter 16

Judith sings a song about what just happened. She makes sure to mention how hot she is, especially when she dresses up and puts on some makeup. Apparently while they were singing they were also heading for Jerusalem, because when they arrive, Judith gives all of Holofernes' stuff to the temple. This causes a three month celebration. After that, she goes home. Plenty of men offer to marry her, but she's a hot, rich widow living sometime between the tenth century BCE and the eighth century CE, and she has no interest in tying herself to the endless work that is a husband and children. She lives to 105 and only then does she let her slave girl go free. She's buried next to her husband. Her death warrants a seven day funeral.

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