Monday, January 12, 2015

Ecclesiasticus, Chapters 43-46: Shoe theives

Chapter 43

The sun is awesome, even when it parches the country. Also awesome: the moon, because it tells us when it's feasting time. In fact, Solomon likes everything in the sky: stars, rainbows, snow, clouds, hail, wind, thunder, tornadoes, mist. Solly also likes the sea, especially whales. So we should all worship god.

Chapter 44

Let us now praise famous men, (v. 1) Hey, I read that book! And it isn't very good. See the photos, definitely, but you can skip the book. Anyway, Solomon thinks we should listen to famous men because god gave them their smarts. He also gave them potent sperm that will continue forever. Sol`s most-admired famous men: Enoch, Noah, who was apparently promised that no one else would die in floods, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Chapter 45

Yawn. Now we`re just going though Genesis and Exodus again. Moses goes up the mountain, blah, blah, blah. Aaron, whom god loved despite the whole golden calf bit. Apparently god gave Aaron pomegranates and lots of fancy clothing. People who insulted Aaron for his frankly gaudy blue and purple silk, were burned to death, because god is nothing if not thin-skinned. Then we hear again about Phineas who I've frankly forgotten, and David.

Chapter 46

Jesus, but probably not the one you`re thinking of, was good in some wars, because he made the sun go back. Oh, is this Joshua? I think that's the guy who stopped the sun in one of the early books. Then we hear about the judges. Apparently we all remember the names of the ones who didn't go whoring and sinning, because we're supposed to bless the rest without being reminded of who they are. Oh, and let their bones flourish out of their place (v. 12). And finally Samuel, who was so honest he never took so much as a shoe (v. 19)

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