Saturday, January 12, 2013

Ephesians, Chapters 1-3: Living in sin

Chapter 1

'Paul' (probably not Paul) sends his blessings to the Ephesians, and a reminder: god picked you before he made the world, and whether you're going up or down after is already determined. Why this means you can't sleep until noon and spend the day watching The Real Housewives of Toledo and eating potato chips, because you can't change your fate, is not explained. All this is true because of Jesus dying, which also gave us wisdom and sound judgement and enlightenment. Which again, I don't see the use of, since everything was decided, at least according to my crazy creationist yet oddly useful bible comparison website, sometime before 4000 BCE.

Chapter 2

A cheery reminder that all christians used to live in sin, under the command of the devil, which at least was fun, because you go to indulge in the lusts of our flesh (v. 3), but was also occasionally punished by god. But god decided to forgive us by sending his son to be slaughtered alongside criminals, then force you to believe in him, so somehow that makes everything okay? I guess? Also, you can't buy salvation through circumcision.

Because of course we're never finished talking about foreskins. This particular congregation is apparently made up entirely of ex-gentiles and therefore not privy to the wonderous nature of cutting of a little band of flesh. But now they're friends with god, and they don't even have to mutilate themselves.

Chapter 3

Before, gentiles couldn't know god, but now they can, thanks to 'Paul.' Fortunately, this is a short book, because it's super-repetitive.

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