Monday, December 17, 2012

2 Corinthians, Chapters 11-13: Virgins for Jesus

Chapter 11

Paul asks us to bear with his foolishness, then admits that he's jealous because we'll be going to our marriage beds with Jesus as virgins. Of course he also thinks we're dummies who'll do it with Satan, because during the apocalypse, there will be a lot of people claiming to be Christ.

Paul changes topic so he can humble-brag that though his speech isn't polished, he's at least as awesome as all the other apostles. Like Peter, who jumped out of a boat that one time, then spent a whole night pretending not to know Jesus? Set your sights high, Paul.

He also reminds us that he's doing this gratis for the Corinthians, since other churches already paid him. He also admits that he's not actually coming to Corinth, all Godot-like, not because he doesn't love them, but because you get what you pay for. Also, other places need him more.

He then riffs some more on the fools theme, saying he acts like a fool because ye suffer fools gladly (v. 19), which I did not know was a biblical expression. Not only do they like fools, they like slavers and people who slap them across the face. Next, he starts ranting about how superior he is to all the false prophets, after all, he's more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. (v. 23) He then starts listing off all the things he's suffered. Highlights include 3 non-hyperbolic-at-all shipwrecks, an entire day spent in the ocean, 195 lashings doled out over 5 sessions, and being lowered out of a prison window in a basket.

Chapter 12

Now Paul wants to tell us about the visions he's received from god. Once, he was high as a kite, possibly having an out-of-body experience and he met a fellow christian who went to heaven and heard things so amazing no human could possibly express them. And that's literally all we find out about this guy. Because telling us this story would be bragging, and Paul only wants to tell us about his weaknesses.

At one point, Paul had either a literal or a metaphorical thorn in his flesh. He kept asking god to take it out, but god kept saying his grace was enough. So now Paul likes his weaknesses, because somehow it means he's stronger in Christ.

He does promise to visit the Corinthians again, even though the more he loves them, the less they love him. He says he lured them in through deceit, but says it's so they'll see the truth. Also, it's so they won't disappoint him when he finally arrives.

Chapter 13

Paul reiterates his promise to visit the Corinthians so he can judge them. He says he'll only try cases that have 2 or 3 witnesses, and therefore he won't be lenient. Here's how to tell if you're a reprobate, which is a word I always thought my mother just made up: if Jesus is in you, you're fine. Also, don't do evil shit. Paul promises to come in a couple of months. 


  1. I like your web site and blog posts a lot, they are very inspiring and informative. Thank you for providing such quality post.

    Just wanted to say that reading the Bible is so very important for me. Finding time to spend in the Word of God is probable the best use of my time. I also like the Audio Bible and listen to that when I am driving. Found that to be a great time saver.

    Problem is that people really don't seem to have enough time to read or listen to the Bible as much as they would like to in today's hectic pace.

    However, I try to put time aside everyday to read my Bible, If I don’t then I just feel that my day is not complete and I'm not fulfilled. Some people are dedicated to working out, playing golf, and many other things they do all the time.

    For me it’s reading my Bible and I would advise the same for everyone. It’s a source of joy and inspiration as well as comfort and encouragement.

    God Bless you in your ministry

    David Morgan

  2. Thank you for your lovely comment, although I'm reading the bible because of its influence on western literature and I am not a believer, nor is this a ministry.