Matthew, Chapter 7: Why don't Christians take this one literally?

Because it starts with maybe my favourite verse in the entire bible: Judge not, that ye be not judged (v. 1). Then there are a bunch of good verses about avoiding hypocrisy and not criticising the faults of others.

Then there are a couple of verses that I did not know were biblical: neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find. (v. 6-7) Of course, the second forms part of the basis of the prosperity gospel, and it's a giant lie, because once again, it didn't come with, you know, vaccines or nitrogen fixation or microcredit or anything, so I don't know why I'm surprised.

Wow, this chapter is just chock-a-block with famous sayings! Next we get the Golden Rule, followed by strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it (v. 14). And again, how do you know which gate, exactly? Catholic? Mormon? and then a bit about wolves in sheep's clothing, which in my mind had somehow become a line out of Little Red Riding Hood.

Of course most of this chapter is threatening bad people, especially bad prophets, with eternal damnation. He informs us that saying his name won't be enough, though it is for Jerry, we'll actually have to, you know, do stuff.