Sunday, March 27, 2011

Proverbs, Chapter 18: The lord commands thee to share the bathroom

As a child, I shared a room with my younger sister for several years, and most nights I used to stare longingly out the window at the apartments behind our street, thinking how wonderful it would be to decide my own bedtime and not have to share my french fries. The first verse of this chapter informs me that I was completely wrong in my thinking, because living alone is selfish and goes against all wisdom. You like that no one steals your milk out of the fridge or that you never have to wait for the bathroom, which is kept at your cleanliness standards, you urban singleton you? Too bad!

Blah, blah, blah, fools and wisdom. Ooh, here's a good one in verse 6: A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes. Can we start with the entire cast of Jersey Shore?

He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.(v. 9) And Solomon would know, what with the 1000+ wives. He must have spent hours every day just taking the trash out. But seriously, I totally agree with this, which is why I avoid group projects as much as possible.

A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. (v. 19) Good lord, tell me about it. My brother once spent two days not speaking to my sister and I. Problem: we were in Tokyo at the time and he didn't know his way around or speak any Japanese, so he just followed 20 feet behind us the entire time, refusing to even look at us. And we couldn't even ditch him because if you lose something in Japan, you not only get it back, you have to pay a reward to the finder.

Finally, another jab at single people: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. (v. 22) Alas, there is nothing about how god feels about cutting up babies.

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