Sunday, April 27, 2014

Judith, Chapters 11 & 12: I'm like a hot chick that you can't even touch

Chapter 11

Holofernes reassures Judith that he never kills people who want to serve Nabuchondoosor the god-king, and he's only attacking the Bethulians because they haven't agreed to his terms yet. He asks why she's run away, and promises before she answers not to kill her, which seems stupidly premature. She in turn promises not to lie and to show him how to defeat Bethulia. She butters him up a bit about how smart he is and how excellent his policies are, which is how you know this book was written by a disgruntled civil servant. She also tells him that no one can hurt anyone who believes in the Jewish god and tells him the people are prepared to break their dietary laws and eat their intended sacrificial offerings to defeat him, that's how committed they are. They're just waiting for permission from the senate to do so, at which point Holofernes can invade and defeat them. She has been sent by god to make a treaty with him before that happens. But right now she needs to go and pray. She promises to come back when the Belulians start sinning. Then she'll lead him to Bethulia and Jerusalem.

Somehow, Holofernes is so dazzled by her hotness that he converts to Judaism right there on the spot and asks her to move with him to Nabuchondoosor's palace. But first he wants to make her dinner.

Chapter 12

Holofernes has dinner brought in, but Judith refuses to eat any of it for fear it isn't kosher. He asks her what she can eat, and she replies that she won't be hungry until god has brought her food. She does, however, want a nap, and she goes to sleep until midnight, at which point she asks leave to go and pray. They repeat this ritual for three days, and at some point she starts eating again.

On the fourth day, Holofernes has a feast for his slaves and doesn't invite his officers. He instructs his chief eunuch to go find Judith and invite her. Apparently the other Assyrians have been snickering behind his back that his hot religious zealot girlfriend walks all over him.

The eunuch finds her praying and invites her for dinner and she readily agrees. She gussies herself up. When she arrives, Holofernes is speechless at her hotness, and promptly gets drunk trying to impress her.

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